baby kitty

i was bored. hubby being out of town does that to me...lol anyway today i took serveral pics of baby G and baby kitty.... behind everything there is a story and this little devil has a story.......my sister went camping with some friends about a year ago or so and rescued this cat from a tree.....her friend kept the kitty for a while because basically my hubby hates cats and we have 2 and we didnt really want another cat cuz i knew Lydia the queen of the house cat would have a hard time ajusting......After a week or so baby kitty wasnt eating...so i secertly kept the cat in the garage for a weekend or so got it to eat....every night we bonded and she fell asleep in my arms.....We didnt know if she was a boy or a girl ....but my sister was calling her chole and i was calling her Howie (boy name) .......

We found she had a sore on her stomach...she had to wear a cone around her head for a while so she wouldnt bite at it and suprisely this cat brought my sister and i closer so of course this little devil as Chris so loving calls her became part of our family..... I started calling her Audrey just because i find this name to be so elegant and strong like and its rockstar's daughter name and i always nickname things i love in reference to the one and only mmw lol So her name is Audrey Chole and shes spolied shes a brat actually....she puts holes in air mattresses, she sleeps in the babys crib more than the baby does and Lydia and her fight all the time but she was worth saving and shes my baby kitty!!!

never give up

Failure....i even hate to say that word........failure can be good or bad and most people learn from failure..... failure is my worst fear..fail in my marriage fail as a mother fail just give up too soon ect i still struggle with failure mostly because when i was growing up my grandparents (my dad parents) didnt accept me as their granddaughter because i wasnt male and i had a handicap i was and still am a "failure" to them ive exprienced verbal and physical abuse because of them but now ive realized they are the failure and they are the problem because they have nothing better to do but bring down a kickass girl....they missed out on getting to know their wonderful granddaughter (and now yrs later they have a greatgrandson who they will meet for the first time this holiday season) and i for one am nervous as hell (having nightmares again flashbacks of the night i remember when i was 4, )and im acting like a child again that needs their approval but im doing this for my child....

i guess u could say because of that exprience with my grandparents i went through life trying to please others insead of myself and after a church retreat and after meeting my husband and all his patience with me a yr ago im finally living life for myself and for my family, i dont care what others think.

When i was 16 my parents divorced and for about 2yrs i was in an angry rage......but i learned through this failure that its not my falut and if you stay in an angry fog......u cant move on.....i dated some strange guys i was engaged at 19 (after my parents divorce i again was just looking for acceptence and love) then my boyfriend killed himself and again i blamed myself I told myself i was never going to get married...and at this same time i was going to school to become a kindergarden teacher and working at a daycare but i got fired from my daycare job (long story) and i failed out of school.........my world was crashing around me for weeks i couldnt understand why i was let go from the daycare and again i was a failure to most of my family for not finishing school......(still plan on going back......i made a promise to a VIP MMW )....so here i am single no job and what i thought was no future.....i got a job a cracker barrel and i met my sexy hero (my husband) and i now help at the town's center for teens who have been abused and i guess what im trying to say is "good things come to those that wait" and a bible verse im trying to live by is "work hard and be a leader or be lazy and never succeed."

Although failure is my biggest fear thur failure ive learned alot about myself and the direction of my life failure has made me stronger person who never gives up.

I cracked......

Well....there u you have it i cracked......i finally have a blog!!! And its exciting!!! Dont laugh at my spelling mistakes or silliness thats just who am i.....

Since the summer i was thinking of starting a blog to blog about just my thoughts post utube clips or more importantly just about my exprience as a mom but i was chicken until now....

Now to explain the name of my blog...."Beautiful Ride"...my life is nothing but beautiful but "Life Ain't Always Beautiful" is a song and im inspired by music and movie quotes. "Life Ain't always beautiful but is a beautiful ride." Also i figured this name fit me because i live about an hour from hersery park and i used to go every summer with my bff Tara and ride all the roller coasters and water rides. I always felt free on a roller coaster and life is sometimes a roller coaster with the up and downs but its how u handle the downs and life is about living in the moment today!!!

So thanks to peer pressure (Tara,Chris, Stacey, Kristina ) i cracked......:)